


Poe is a Dumbass

by AtlasAffogato



Series: Din/Corin (LadyIrina) [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Gen, Humor, M/M, they are roommates because I crave chaos, this is for my best friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:09:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22334713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AtlasAffogato/pseuds/AtlasAffogato
Summary: Poe, Cassian, and Din are roommates.That's it, that's the whole fic.
Relationships: Corin the Stormtrooper (Rescue and Regret)/The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV), Kinda - Relationship, Poe Dameron/Finn
Series: Din/Corin (LadyIrina) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1602544
Comments: 18
Kudos: 184





	Poe is a Dumbass

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyIrina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyIrina/gifts), [DestielPhanCaleo_Shipper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielPhanCaleo_Shipper/gifts).



> I wrote this because my best friend wanted a fic with all three Hispanics in Space.

Poe slammed the front door hard enough to shake the paintings on the wall. 

"Hey!" 

He ignored Cassian in favor of stomping into the kitchen. He jerked the fridge doors open, snatched out a beer and stomped back into the living room. Cassian was sat cross legged on the sofa, laptop in front of him, glaring at Poe for shaking the apartment. Din was laid back in the oversized bean bag chair in the corner, watching Poe. Poe twisted the cap off the bottle, tossed it over his shoulder, and slumped down next to Cassian. Din set his phone down, calling out, "rough night?" 

Poe sighed, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. "I told him I liked his eyes and choked on my salad when he smiled at me." Poe took a long drink of his beer and put his feet up on the coffee table. 

"Shoes." Din said, eyeing Poe's boots until he rolled his eyes and took them off, setting them down next to the sofa. Poe looked up when he felt something brush against the back of his neck. Twisting around, he saw BeeBee perched on the back of the couch, flicking her tail around his neck and leaning in for nuzzles. 

Poe smiled. BeeBee always knew how to cheer him up. He scratched behind her ears, earning a few good rumbling purrs before she climbed into his arms and allowed him to rub her belly. "Aw BeeBee," he cooed, "you don't mind if I'm an idiot do you?" 

"She definitely does." Din called over, back on his phone. Poe shot him a glare before going back to his cat to give her kisses. BeeBee was just the sweetest thing, always coming for cuddles and love as soon as he got home. She would swat him if he sat at his desk for too long and she would  _ always, always _ beg for his food. He loved her more than anything.

Cassian finally broke the quiet, closing his laptop and turning to face Poe. "So," he laced his fingers together in his lap and grinned. "How was the date?" 

Poe groaned, leaning back and hoping the couch cushions would swallow him up and pull him into their deep dark pits. (Given how old these sofas were, it's not an unreasonable assumption to think that a lovecraftian horror type monster lived in the cracks and feasted on old socks) Poe flopped his head back and forth, wallowing in self pity until BeeBee got tired of no attention and left him. She walked over to Din, curled up on his chest, and looked back at Poe smug. Din didn't even falter in whatever he was typing. 

Poe sighed and grabbed his beer off of the coffee table he had dropped it on earlier. He chugged quite a bit before speaking. "The whole thing was a nightmare-"

"What was he a creep or something?" Cassian blurted out.

"Would you let me finish?" Poe snapped back. 

"No, he wasn't a creep, I was just a loser."

"Oh, so just a normal date then." 

"Fuck you, Din."

"Wouldn't if you begged me."

"Anyways!" Cassian broke in before it turned into a bitch fight. "What happened?" 

"Well," Poe sighed and hide his face in his hands. He sat back up, slinging an arm around the back of the couch. "The metro got delayed so I was 45 minutes late." Cassian cringed.

"Ouch." 

"Yeah. So I was 45 minutes late, and since it's been dumping buckets all day, I brought my umbrella. Except," Poe pulled out a compact umbrella from his coat pocket. It was still soping wet and dripping on the couch. Cassian cringed. "I grabbed Din's stupid duck umbrella so I looked like a child walking into the restaurant." He stuffed the umbrella back in his pocket before taking off the coat and throwing it across the room.

"That's not my umbrella," Din said, sounding as uninterested as usual. "Its Corin's, he just left it here a few weeks ago." 

Poe sneered. "Well maybe your boyfriend should take his junk home and not get it mixed in with all our shit." Din didn't even look up from his phone.

"You're just mad because I'm in a steady relationship and you haven't had sex in four months." 

"Oh trust me Din, I'm not jealous of anything. See I want a real relationship, not just to be a sugar daddy." Din quirked an eyebrow, his first reaction to Poe. 

"How the fuck am I a sugar daddy?" He never stopped typing.

Poe scoffed, patience running thin with Din and his antics, too exhausted from the humiliating evening to care about anything he says. 

"Please, Corin's like 10 years younger than you, you buy him all the shit he wants, and what do you get out of it? Some  _ very _ loud sex and a pretty face." Din snorted.

"Is this supposed to be insulting? Corin's the perfect guy. I got everything I need from life dude."

"Yeah," Poe scoffed. "I'm sure he looked just perfect shooting down American drones and occupying villages full of innocent women and children." 

The room froze. 

Din's fingers hovered above his phone, hands starting to tremble and his shoulders tensing. He turned his head, slowly, the look at Poe. "What the fuck did you just say?" 

BeeBee scampered off Din, sensing his tension. Cassian sunk back into the couch. He murmured a quiet warning to Poe. Din rose from the bean bag, painfully slow. He tossed his phone back on the chair. "What." He tightened his hands into fists, whispering angrily through his teeth. "The fuck. Did you just say?" 

Poe, realizing his mistake, shuffled back in his seat, holding up his hands. 

"Fuck, fuck I'm sorry dude, that was uncalled for-" 

"Damn right!" Din barked.

"I'm, I'm sorry dude, I didn't mean it, I just got mad, you know I adore Corin." Poe was rambling. He knew it, but he didn't know how to stop it. "You know I think he's the coolest dude. Much cooler than me, for sure. He's awesome. Really great. Y'know, upstanding citizen."

Din glared at Poe. He snatched his phone off the bean bag and marched to the door. He shoved his feet into a pair of boots and snagged a coat off the coat rack. "I'm leaving. To spend the night with my  _ boyfriend _ ." He glared at Poe and pointed at him, growling, "You better watch your mouth Dameron." Before slamming the door behind him. The paintings rattled but Cassian said nothing. 

Cassian blew out the breath he had been holding since Din snapped. "Jesus dude!" He slapped a hand across Poe's chest. "What, do you have a death wish?!" Poe just stared at the door, waiting for Din to come back with a gun or whatever else he could find to kill him with. 

Cassian shoved his hands into his hair, pulling at the roots and grinding his teeth. "You're so fucking stupid!" He yelled, kicking Poe's thigh. Cassian sighed and buried his face in his hands, shaking his head. "You never bring up the war dude, you never bring it up! That's Din 101!" Poe nodded, still staring at the door.

"Yup. I fucked up." 

"Fucked up?! Fucked up?! This is way beyond fucked up, you're dead meat dude. He's gonna get you the second you walk outside." That had Poe looking at him.

"Oh fuck." Realization dawned on him. 

"Yeah right 'oh fuck'!" Cassian yelled. "You literally insulted a  _ professional bounty hunter' _ s boyfriend  _ to his face. _ " 

Poe dragged a hand down his face. Cassian sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Just go to bed Poe, I'll figure this out. Hopefully he doesn't actually  _ kill you _ . I don't want to bury another roommate." Poe couldn't tell if he was joking, but on the off chance he wasn't, he left for his bedroom.

He kept the lights on all night and his eyes cracked. He checked the locks on his windows 5 times.

-

The next afternoon found the three men standing in their living room, Poe shirtless and Din holding a paintball gun. Poe cowered a bit, holding his hands over his nipples. "Come on man, I really don't think the paintball gun is necessary." Cassian and Din exchange looks. 

"Bring up off limit topics, you get the gun. Rules are rules." Cassian tried his best to feel bad for Poe, but he found it hard when Poe was such a dumbass. Poe sighed, resigning himself to his fate.

"Alright." He grumbled, moving into the hallway to get in position.

"Hold on." Din called out for him. He held up on hand, looking down at his phone. "We can't do this without one thing more." Cassian furrowed his brows. They had never needed anything else before. Din opened the front door to welcome in a handsome young man. Poe gaped.

"Finn?!" He screeched. Finn looked around, waving an awkward hello to Poe. Poe looked between Finn and Din, horrified and confused. "Finn what the hell are you doing here?!" 

Finn pointed to Din. "He uh, told me to come. Said it was payback for such a bad date. Which, I don't think our date was that bad." Poe was torn between horrible embarrassment of Finn seeing him like this and elation at Finn not hating their date last night. "So," Finn exclaimed, looking between Din's gun and Poe's bare chest. "What's going on here?" 

"I'm shooting Poe for insulting my boyfriend." Din said. Short and simple. He raised the rifle and Poe flinched back.

"Wait wait wait! I'm not ready yet! I'm not in the spot!" Poe scrambled backwards, tripping on doorways trying to navigate while keeping an eye on the gun and both his hands covering his nipples. 

Poe finally managed to get in position, leaning back against the wall at the end of the hallway. He let his hands fall to his sides, so tense he might go blue in the face. Din raised the rifle. "Just please not the face." He whimpered before Din pulled the trigger. "Ahh!' Poe whimper-screamed, orange paint covering his lower belly. "Ahh, god, how many times are you gonna shoot me?" There was no masking the fear and desperation in Poe's voice. 

Din shrugged, cool as a cucumber. "About as many times I had to fuck my boyfriend before I calmed down. So," he shrugged his shoulders, faking nonchalance, "about 6 times." 

"That's a gross miscalculation!" Corin yelled from his spot on the sofa, laying back with his feet stretched out across the couch with BeeBee laying on his chest, the little traitor. 

"Oh you're right babe," Din called back. "What would you say?" 

"I'd say it was closer to ten." A wicked grin spread across his face. Din grinned right back.

"Ten it is." 

Poe whimpered. 

"Why is this happening to me?" 

"Because you're a dumbass Poe!" 

_ Shot _


End file.
